The road trip was pretty excellent. We had a caravan of three cars for five people(Ben, Kate, Katharine, Amy, ME) which may seem excessive but when you account for all the feces we brought along with us I think we did a good job compacting it all into the three cars (mostly mine, which is by far the smallest, but best for carrying fecal matter). Everything from Delaware to Kansas is pretty much a big blur except for the gas stations where we spent a lot of time due to Amy's uncontrollable explosive bowels and some holistic nether-region dealings involving a clove of garlic. We did manage to stop for a brief moment at the St. Louis Arch which looked like some ancient alien artifact rising from the mist.
Once we hit Colorado we realized that our three car caravan wouldn't last and we said our goodbyes to Amy and Katharine. With Kate and I in one car and Ben in another we blazed the trail to Utah's Arches National Park. I took an ass-load of pictures there and took Kate and Ben on a death march up to Delicate Arch. Kate was crying. She got down on her knees and prayed for passing clouds to rain cigarettes upon her, but with a wag of my finger and my steadfast sweetness I eventually convinced her that all would be well once we reached the arch, the promised land.
Delicate Arch sits on the edge of the largest, most colorful toilet bowl in existence. I liked this idea very much and found myself getting sucked into the rocky vortex. Ben and Kate thought that I would never return, so they promptly got up and left me to the mercy of the desert. Of course, I did escape and made my way back to the car, but there was no cold water upon my return. This blew chunks, and made me pouty for a brief time.
Later, we drove further west to the town of Salina and found the worst campsite of the trip. Kate needed some items that would prevent her from attracting bears(not that Salina has bears or anything else of moderate interest), but apparently no women live in the town of Salina and so therefore no items were to be found. We drove fifteen miles to get to the nearest Walmart, a frequent stopping point throughout are trip. I actually have a new found respect for Walmarts. They saved our hungry asses a few times and provided some brief respite from the heavy western sun. Not to mention that Walmart is a great way to observe fashion styles from seven or eight years ago.
Back to Salina - The next morning we woke up to the sound of about sixty dogs barking somewhere in the vicinity of our tent. I had been having a terrifying dream that these dogs were all attached to a single leash and that occasionally they would become one entity with many heads. Kate had a dream that every bark was being emitted from bubbles. Ben dreamed that he was pissed off about the noise.
We took down our tent and shuffled out of old Salina. The night before we decided to take a slight detour from route fifty and hit Zion National Park. My parents suggested the park and we had planned to take the trip a little slower, so a multiple night stay in the park seemed like a good idea...
...stay tuned
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